I recently read somewhere that if you want to be truly exceptional be a touch insane. You need a little bit of insanity to do great things.
More than anything this fits the creatively blessed amongst us. The most legendary comedians, actors and artists fought their demons - depression, drink, drugs (or all three). In fashion, some of the most exceptional fashionistas have been a bit unhinged. Some have survived to tell the tale but others....ouch! Just look at Isabella Blow and Alex McQueen?
I aspire to McQueen's standards, this is what I want to do. But do I want to go a little bit mad, or am I already there? I am doubtful that I have it in me creatively to be as good as him. Certainly I have fought off a few demons in my time but who hasn't? I fear ending up like Isabella, talented, amazing, willing to stand out in a crowd, but totally off her trolley and ready to fall off the cliff edge at a moment's failure. Inevitably of course, it all ended horribly. I think I am more afraid of losing control of reality than I am of ultimate failure. But what if I discovered tomorrow that this was as good as it was ever going to get, that I would never be any more successful than where I am today? When you've geared your while life around a single aspiration (never put all your eggs in one basket - tsk tsk), what is there left when you can't cut it with the best? What would I do? Would I turn to something else, or could I face going on knowing that ultimately I was never going to succeed?
I am hoping it never comes to that, but my journey towards my goal has been a pathetically painfully wasteful dawdle, for which I constantly berate myself - in itself a fruitless task since there is nothing I can do about the past. And I fear I might reach the end of my life before I truly discover who I am or ultimately what I am capable of. I have another 14 months to make that discovery before I (hopefully) graduate and then the old adage 'the world is at your feet' suddenly becomes a reality. The thought of a clean slate, connected and professionally skilled is a liberating but daunting thought. If the whole world was your oyster where would you choose to settle your pearl?
I am a firm believer in fate - what will be, will be. The main events in your life have already been mapped out, and it's just the journey you take to reach those milestones. I certainly feel like I've taken the journey. All the elements are in place, the lessons have been learned, responsibility taken, the blinkers are on. I am almost a fledgling. It's almost time to step off the edge of the nest and see if my wings will carry me up....
More than anything this fits the creatively blessed amongst us. The most legendary comedians, actors and artists fought their demons - depression, drink, drugs (or all three). In fashion, some of the most exceptional fashionistas have been a bit unhinged. Some have survived to tell the tale but others....ouch! Just look at Isabella Blow and Alex McQueen?
I aspire to McQueen's standards, this is what I want to do. But do I want to go a little bit mad, or am I already there? I am doubtful that I have it in me creatively to be as good as him. Certainly I have fought off a few demons in my time but who hasn't? I fear ending up like Isabella, talented, amazing, willing to stand out in a crowd, but totally off her trolley and ready to fall off the cliff edge at a moment's failure. Inevitably of course, it all ended horribly. I think I am more afraid of losing control of reality than I am of ultimate failure. But what if I discovered tomorrow that this was as good as it was ever going to get, that I would never be any more successful than where I am today? When you've geared your while life around a single aspiration (never put all your eggs in one basket - tsk tsk), what is there left when you can't cut it with the best? What would I do? Would I turn to something else, or could I face going on knowing that ultimately I was never going to succeed?
I am hoping it never comes to that, but my journey towards my goal has been a pathetically painfully wasteful dawdle, for which I constantly berate myself - in itself a fruitless task since there is nothing I can do about the past. And I fear I might reach the end of my life before I truly discover who I am or ultimately what I am capable of. I have another 14 months to make that discovery before I (hopefully) graduate and then the old adage 'the world is at your feet' suddenly becomes a reality. The thought of a clean slate, connected and professionally skilled is a liberating but daunting thought. If the whole world was your oyster where would you choose to settle your pearl?
I am a firm believer in fate - what will be, will be. The main events in your life have already been mapped out, and it's just the journey you take to reach those milestones. I certainly feel like I've taken the journey. All the elements are in place, the lessons have been learned, responsibility taken, the blinkers are on. I am almost a fledgling. It's almost time to step off the edge of the nest and see if my wings will carry me up....
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